sg, I am confused. Your previous post said you were a WAW. So, even though he was the abuser, you thought that your DBing could have helped save your M as long as he also responded to your DBing? If this is what you meant, we are thinking alike. This is what my thinking has been from Day 1 of DBing, 18.5 months ago (i.e. 2 weeks after he moved out). He moved out 2 weeks after a VERY angry outburst, which was the 5th in 2 years of our 3.5 M (then) We are now married 5 years. The first 2 weeks, he kept talking D and behaved as if we were D. After the 2 weeks (after DBing started), no mention of D ever.
I too believe in Real Giving, which I didn't understand prior to reading DR.
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But I have since then, and it really makes a huge difference. AND I get it in return.
Do you get real giving in return, automatically in response to YOUR real giving? Did your real giving cause the receiver to ask why the difference and the motivation to find out about real giving before they practised it?
