It's about those 180's john - here's one I just thought about. TM her from the other room. Tell her you're watching the Superbowl at 4 in the livingroom and you're saving the seat next to you.
Anything john - try anything. Just keep those expectations low.
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
Tostada, Straddled but with clothes on.....I know, better than nothing. I don't know that I'm really doing anything different.....I am compasionate by nature, however, I have to admit that she did go through some pretty serious stuff compared to me anyway. Phil, SuperBowl????? I think I have a better chance of making love to my wife than have her watch the game withh me. Let's see what i can come up with. I,ve been pretty much staying away all day.
Wow, I am jealous of the warm weather resort invite. Sounds like fun to me. And W is right, and so are you, you need vaca's without the little ones. If you don't spend that time alone together, your R can become about raising the kids. My MC says if you do that, what happens when they grow up and leave? Then you and W have nothing left to do together??? Not that you are doing that stuff, I just know that a lot of couples basically turn into "just co-parents" when the kiddos are born and lose the boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic of the R. So a trip together would be fun/positive I think.....
the warm weather resort was more of a "what if" than an invite. i can't really figure it out. W is under tremendous pressure....this is getting pretty rough
1) her brother has a serious gambling problem (got a call from MIL) 2) her oldest daughter got layed off. 3) her youngest is on meds (depression) 4) her dad is struggling with his wife (she had an acv a few months ago)
I already mentionned the anniversary of her sister's death coming up.
Then you have me.......
I really need to be strong and get my act together.
By the way earlier today she again repeated that regardless of what happens between us she needs me to be there for her. On the half glass full side, i am still in the picture, on the half glass empty the regardless of what happens still has negative connotations..
John ... be aware of the negaive things she says - but focus on the good stuff. Show your compassion. You're understanding that when you get to the real "unconditional" or "agape" love - that it doesn't matter what she says or does, you love her anyway. How I've described it to oters is: "you learn to love not because of what she does FOR you, rather, you love her in spite of what she does TO you." I sense you're getting there.
Knowing what you do (your last post), and assuming you did have M issues, what is the compassionate thing to do for her?
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
She needs to see strength and compasion from me right now...no and, ifs or buts....that is what sh will get. That is what the whole family will get from me.
Unconditional love....I did not think I had it in me....I need to concentrate on the positives, which quite honestly I am not very good at. I am working on it though. if I think back to where I was 5 months ago and where my W was.....things have progressed. Are they where I would like them to be? Not even close.
