Took her for granted for sure and she claims I was passive aggressive and not emotionally available. I have made great strides to change all this through therapy and education but I am getting the "to little to late" comment. I feel like SH** because of it and never knew I was doing it. I must also add that she shut me down years ago with the way she spoke to which may have lead to this behavior. She has a horrible way of addressing/speaking to people. She is very, very smart and will sometimes come across as talking way down to you, she also has a massive temper and anger issues which can really shut you down.I do have many faults but don't feel, of course,that her decision to leave/break the family up are warranted. I am really hurting.
Bomb December 5th (got a letter from her lawyer saying they were about to file, we stopped that process).
I feel it is to far gone, I feel as though she has checked out already. She says "I just don't have the feeling and I don't know if I can get it back". She wants to seperate soon, talking to lawyer this week about moving out. I don't know what the hurry is, maybe OM in waiting.
We have been getting along great today. On our way to a Super Bowl Party. I am a better man now than what she married just twenty years older. I have made some massive changes and my effort is huge.I don't think she thinks they are real but they are. Right now I feel like I want her so bad.
We have therapy on Tuesday but she dose not feel like that is going to bring the feeling back. I am trying to fill her with fear, uncertianty and doubt about what she is about to do and go from there. We just need to communicate better, become close friends again, start dating and then get romantic. It's going to be a long hard ride but I am willing to put the time in, not sure if she is. Pray for me. Enjoy the Super Bowl. Giants 30, NE 21.
I am trying to fill her with fear, uncertianty and doubt about what she is about to do and go from there. We just need to communicate better, become close friends again, start dating and then get romantic.
Those two sentances are mutually conflicting. You cant "fill her with f.u.d." AND be a close friend. they dont mesh well together. i doubt she's going to want to be arond someone who makes her feel insecure about herself?
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We have therapy on Tuesday but she dose not feel like that is going to bring the feeling back.
"results" aside.. how does she get alongn with the therapist?
if she doesnt "click" with the therapist, then i think you need to stop going with her. immediately. becuase it will drain her of any remaining desire to work on your marriage.
dont try to force her to do something that she isnt in wholehearted agreement about doing. it will backfire.
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She wants to seperate soon, talking to lawyer this week about moving out. I don't know what the hurry is, maybe OM in waiting.
sounds likely.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
Good comments, let me clarify. I don't think she is thinking clearly and knowing what she is leaving behind. She is so back and forth. One poster said that when they are like this you must creat FUD and make them realize. This is step one. After this I want her to trust me as a good sole and friend and then move on from there.
Therapist- she likes him but does not know how he is going to bring that "Feeling Back" that she has lost. How he is going to help her bring down the wall. She is much calmer now that she has returned fro the trip but still has a lot of anger. She can be very sweat at times and at others she is trying to push my buttons so I decide to move out. I am not moving out. My gut says that she is not in a hurry just because of the OM. She just needs space. She did ask for my purmision to start cantacting him again. I am really hurting today.
Today she told me "her love for me has died and she doesn't know if she can get it back." How do you overcome that one? Anything you can do to DB that? I feel horrible. i want my love back.
Yes, DB states that you not believe 100% of what you hear, and only 50% of what you see. I know it's hard to hear such cruel, hurtful things, but we just have to suck it up.
That is exactly what I am starting to think, Tree. They are intelligent women - so they wouldn't do something this crazy unless they had good reasons.
While I am sure they have good reasons for being upset and losing faith in their marriages, that's a pretty big step to leave the family home. So they do need to justify it in some way.
Your starting to think that she is trying to convince herself? I think she is just trying to justify leaving and proding me along the way so maybe I leave. She really knows how to push my buttons and it ain't working so she is starting to get upset and throw out lines like this. She is a mad woman. It's a wonder that I love her so much.
