Had our first taste of what it would be like being D with the kids. Our 17S who is very quiet and reserved-came to life when my WAW came over to visit. We both noticed how "happy" he was with both of us together. He actually engaged us in conversation and on top of that chose not to go to the HS basketball game which he normally would never do. Our college age son was home and there was some unintentional conflict about where he should spend the night. In the "home" where I am or at WAW condo (S since Jan.7).
The situation is very fluid. Both S do not know that WAW filed for D. They think it is just a S. Older S told me that this "was my problem and that I had to fix it". I told him it was not my decision to make and that "we" were working on it. I had to dodge some very pointed questions because we have not told the kids about the D.
WAW sends an email this morning saying how upset she was, that 17S is angry with her and she doesn't know how to relate to him. She wants us (WAW, M, S) to spend more time together because of our 17S reaction to us being together. I had to fight back replying to her saying that "us" being together may not be a good thing as without a R, we would not be together if the D goes through.
Lots of emotion at work here-very volatile and unpredictable. I fell off the DB wagon during most of this exchange and became sullen and withdrawn. The pain we are causing the children is too much to bear. I had a very hard time being "upbeat".
Bottom line-WAW is coming over to have dinner with us tonight so we can spend time "together" for our S. I think she is realizing that there is more at stake filing for D and that her actions are affecting all of us.
Very dangerous times-how do I handle guilt of WAW over the reaction of the children? I did reply to her email that all of the questions she raised about what to do next might be the topic of my MC session scheduled for tomorrow night. I hope she gets the hint and decides to attend.
I never thought it would be this hard. There is so much at stake here.
Support/advice eagerly accepted!
M-47 H-48 M-22 yrs T-25 yrs plus ILYBNILWY-September 07 Filed-11.21.07 S-1.7.08 Possible EA 9/07 HS boyfriend from 30 yrs ago.
