Many times I try to do things on my own (like find rides for my son) because I get into that frame of mind depending on how I feel with my husband. I mean, if I feel like things aren't going so well, I jump into "self protection mode," and I try to solve all issues without asking for his help. Now, I know this is wrong, and it took him a long time to say to me, "These are my kids, too. I can, and want to, do things for them. Let me."
So, my best advice is to keep reminding your wife of this. It doesn't have to have anything to do with the two of you. They are your kids, too, and whenever possible you will get them to/from the place they need to go. Just keep reminding her. It will sink in.
And, quit being so hard on Ellie. She is a good egg and just trying to help you!
