Hi hon. In our case it was orange juice, not eggs Somehow, in my H's mind, I was solely responsible for keeping the orange juice supply current. And if he had to - HORRORS - have breakfast without orange juice one morning, well, I was criminally negligent in my wifely duties.
What does it all mean? Well, I think there are a variety of factors that need to be looked at:
- his need to feel cared for. Men so tritely feel "neglected" when motherhood is sapping your energies. I know that's part of why the OJ issue was so big for my H; it's what it represented, that I wasn't thinking about caring for him. Reread the 5 Love Languages and figure out where best to put your limited energies to help him feel loved.
- sex. Face it, when things are going well in the bedroom at night, things during the day seem to go smoother. (Hard to yell at a woman who just gave you a great orgasm, or vice versa).
- get help. The best investment H and I ever made was getting a housekeeper to come in once every 2 weeks. Are there parts of your domestic chores you could outsource to keep the house running more smoothly and your time less stressed?
- dates. You two need a regular night out without the baby. I know it's hard, because you're working you want to spend all your available time with her, but it's important to HER welfare for her parents to have a good marriage.
- realistic expectations. Forget that whole "women can do it all" silliness we grew up with. A full time job plus motherhood equals two full time jobs. It's tough. Get creative. What are the areas of friction? What tends to fall between the cracks?
- take time for yourself. Make it a priority. I used to think I was being selfless by putting everybody in the family's needs before myself. Know what? My H didn't respect me for it.
