why cant they realize they are ruining everything in their lives?
I've been thinking about this too and how much we are enabling them to run by DBing. I absolutely think we are doing the right thing, but I think we do such a good job of holding down the fort while they're gone that they don't sense the emotional damage they're creating in the children. For my H, since he still gets to see the kids every weekend and up until recently, he still had my attention and affection, there is/was no sense of loss.
Looking at the big picture, I think that the connection you still have is a good thing. I know it must be hard to feel that and H's being distant at the same time. If we really believe in this MLC stuff, remember that this is just as hard on him. Early on in a letter to me post-bomb, H said that the thing that was killing him the most was that he had somehow lost that connection with me and didn't know how to get it back. Looking back, I think he may have lost a romantic connection with me, but even after so much has happened, I know that a deeper connection still exists.
