Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks Being Me and Tom. Could somebody pass on my apologies to Muriel, I think I stood her up somewhere out there in that winter storm. It's so easy to lose that little box #7! Did I mention that I think I have Bronchitis now too! I've made a doctors appt for tomorrow, I was gonna drop in on my way home from work but when I saw the snow on the side street doctor is on I kept driving! Yup, it just gets better and better, doesn't it. Well, you are right Tom, I will survive even though it's not a Bee Gee's tune! My girls are tough cookies and they've had a damn good upbringing, they will survive too (and prosper!). It's amazing how that parental instinct just jumps up in you any time your kids hurt. I stayed with the pain for years as much for my kids as for the M. I wanted to save it but I wanted to spare them pain so I just kept on taking that pain. There's a little part of me that still says I should have stayed and taken it, for the kids. But, that would have been a very poor choice to make. No way do I want my girls to grow up thinking that the way their Mom treated me was the way a M should be...uh uh. I think I'll be hitting the sack early tonight and getting to the doctors for some anti-biotics tomorrow. Thanks again for caring guys! Btw, latin line dance was cancelled tonight, and I just bought a pair of handcuffs for the occassion too! Oh, and I asked OSB how her plants were today, and she said "they're dead, all dead!" Wow, and I thought I had problems!
Why is it that the later it gets the better I feel? A few hours ago I was ready to pass out, now I've got some life! Go figure. I just wanted to mention that there are some positives about today. W is actually willing to concede that our separation has had some effect on our kids. It means that she is now able to let down the walls that she had put up previously. Some of you may remember that W and I had a huge blowout over her inability to even consider that our D's behaviour may have been influenced by our separation. She would also not acknowledge that kids go through "stages" and would attack D as "that is just the way she is", she actually said today that D may be going through a stage. This bizarre use of denial used to blow my mind because we are both in the counselling profession! How could any sane person, especially one who works in the field of human behaviour, refuse to believe that a separation might affect the kids, but that was W's view. So I see this change as a positive thing! I had been dreading talking to her at work as I didn't feel well and W usually goes ballistic about school issues, so it was nice to hear her being level headed and ready to look at things she previously wasn't. I thanked her for calling and letting me know what was going on. You know, I just can't imagine what it must be like to know your kids are going through this pain because YOU decided to have an A and NOT work on your M. Yes, I'd rather be me.
Just wait until she realizes that she was much better off in your sitch then she is now.. and wants you to come back to her. That will be interesting.. btw... It was for me.
Well Tom, she had one of the kids phone me today to ask if I would like to join them for Dim Sum today (she can't phone herself, of course!). I said I would meet them when I was finished with the doctor. So I met the family and we had a nice Dim Sum at a restaurant near both our homes. W actually conversed with me, with me and not about or with the kids. It started as your basic convo about the weather yesterday and how it affected both our days blah blah blah and moved from there but it was a conversation that she actually put some energy into continuing. She actually listened to me, nice to see for a change. She also invited me over for Chinese New Year dinner on Thursday, you'll love this invite "We're having NY's dinner Thursday so you'll have to miss your Yoga class if you come" I wanted to say "Oh, are you inviting me?" but I thought I'd let it go and told her I'd come. I also had a nice experience today at the doctors, I told the pharmacist that my address had changed and in the course of our convo I told her W and I had separated. She's known us for 15 years, our kids took Tae Kwondo together, and her response was so empathetic and so concerned about me, I realized that she really did care and that was the nice part! It's funny how you have these relationships with people and don't realize how much you touch each others lives, even with the limited contact you might have. She's a nice lady who cares. These days that means a lot! Tonight D10 and I are meeting my woman friend and her two kids for dinner and a church service. I've popped my antibiotics and am ready for anything now!
Wow--didn't know antibiotics gave us superpowers, I am sure I have some leftovers in a drawer, I should try it out!
Well, sounds promising with W. Two invites, the Dim Sum and the New Year's? That sounds good to me. And convo. between the two of you that didn't involve the kids? That is great b/c as parents you will always need to talk about the kids, but the rest is optional. And she is taking the option......Keep doing whatever you are doing.
Maybe the plant lady should have tried antibiotics.....
Thanks Bobbijo. W certainly seems to be more grounded lately, I'm hoping she is now able to act a little more human instead of acting like a locomotive barreling down the tracks out of control and running over anything or anyone in her way. I'm dreaming, of course! Tonight my friend and I took our kids to the church service I mentioned earlier. The kids just loved it cuz it's hard to top an evening where the youngest lets go a big loud fart right in the middle of the service. Wow, that's like going to kiddy heaven! Yes, a night to remember.
Just a little note from last night. It's funny sometimes how things come up at the right times. On the prayer thread I'd mentioned that I sometimes don't turn to God when I'm feeling overwhelmed or needy and I think it's from a fear that God might let me down and if he lets me down, what's left! I've just been betrayed and tossed aside by the woman I've loved faithfully for 17 years, it creates incredible feelings of vulnerability. The message last night was all about turning to God in the midst of storms and the Pastor said "It's OK to reach out" She spoke about the times we often don't. It sure fit perfectly with the thoughts going through my mind these days. Btw, for those who have followed my sitch you'll remember my Dad was diagnosed with Colon Cancer early last year. Well, last week he finished his final Chemo treatment and has come through with flying colours! During Chemo he never lost a hair or a meal, we were all blessed through this storm. later Dbers!
That is great about your Dad. One less thing to worry about in your life, eh?
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Hey guys, I am in a similar siutation and thought you could give me some advice.
My W is a WAW. Very head strong and now into doing her own thing. Since we separated, she has been off the rails. Spending money, travelling, dating, etc.
After 4 months, this has finally had an impact on our 7 year old D. When my D is with me, she lives with my parents. It is a very calm and loving environment. She trusts my mom completely. D confided in my mom that she has been crying at school over our separation and because her mom does not spend a lot of time with her. She leaves her with a nanny.
