My H is a classic avoider. Facing things hurts too much and he avoids pain like the plague. However, he's gotten better with facing the avoidance thing during this process. But he doesn't handle things the way I would, and I need to accept that this is waht makes us different.
This weekend, we went up to RI to see our little niece who was just born. I found myself on his case the entire weekend. I attacked him a bit (i.e. he never helps me out unless i specifically ask him and he only does things that are good for him)....
Last night, after we got home, i said do him, "I'm sorry I've been up your @ss this weekend". He said, "You were up my @ss... from the moment we left". I said, "I know. That's why I'm apologizing".
I also noticed that he took the trash out without me asking.
Last night, I crawled into bed and snuggled up to him. We talked about basketball a bit (he is quite passionate about it this time of year so i've been really trying to get involved).
Then we went to bed.
Today, he left for Fla. He's coming home tomorrow night. We need the space (once again). Next week, he is going away for most of the week. Then that's it for the traveling.
I need to catch myself when I start putting him down. Are there things I don't like about him? Yes. But that's always going to be the case in any R -- friends, relatives, or spouses. And I need to look past the things taht I may not like and look at the the things I do like about him. And I need to be careful about not putting him down. I was doing that this weekend.
Like Cat was saying, I find myself thinkign about OW often. I am working to put those thoughts out of my head. But I still find myself comparing myself to her (or my image of her). I still find myself being threatened of H's frienships with any woman -- well really only the ones who are not M.
This pieceing things is hard. Sometimes, I'm so tired of it all.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
