I also had an interesting observation this morning. I'm finding that I treasure our physical times together, whether it be just touching or sex because it makes me feel loved too. I still love my QT certainly, but because I know that PT is his LL, I really feel the love now when we are physical. Does that make sense? This is a new thing.
My H said something similar to me recently. I think when you start to really meet each other's LL needs, the love is naturally going to start flowing more...both ways. And what is better than that? I'm really happy things are working out for you guys.
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Cobra once alluded to the fact that my LL was QT because of my FOO
I have to say I miss Cobra's perspective on this board. Hope you are doing well out there Cobra, wherever you are...come back and visit once and a while.
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Unfortunately some of us get some bad programming along the way and we sort of adopt other LLs based on our experiences. Certainly touch was not a big thing in my family. My father used to hug me, but not in the cuddly way that Mojo describes. It was more of a roughhousing squeeze that often used to hurt a bit. I don't remember my mother saying she loved me and she still doesn't.
This is the interesting thing about human behavior. No two people will react the same way in the same environment. I didn't grow up in a very touchy/feely house either, but I still think Physical Touch is my primary LL today as an adult. But I also love Acts of Service because I was raised that way too. I would never be with a man today who did not treat me well in that area. That comes from Dad probably. If I was sick, he would run out to the store and buy me my favorite foods, magazines, and stuff. That is just how he showed his love and I knew that. I don't remember ever really thinking "I wish my parents hugged me more" or anything like that. But when I got M, I craved more of that attention from H. Go figure.
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I would feel uncomfortable telling either of my parents "I love you."
I manage to do this today but you are right, it is a little uncomfortable. My parents are both around 80 now (and still going strong mentally and physically - good peasant stock, lol) but I think I know the end can't be too far off. I always make sure to say I love you and give them hugs when I visit.
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OTOH, I tell my son that I love him every day and it feels completely natural.
Me too. It's just different when you are the parent yourself isn't it.
