Need Advice!

[elocin777]

He did not sleep over-he came over at 5:30 when I left but was sleeping when I came back home due to bad weather. He was in my bed because S10 was in my bed sleeping, so he snuggled up with him. No he works, that is part of my dependancy issue, I never worked. He is the sole supporter besides my part time job now, hence the reason for me going back to school. But since he got his apartment his bills and rent come first so that is why are house has gone down the tubes. I really do want to do the right things, I guess I analyze too much and think way too much. Emotionally detaching, that will definitely be a tough one for me. I have never been good at hiding my emotions about anything. Everyone can see right through me. It is so hard for me to comprehend how turning my back on the person I love can bring him closer to me. It just does not sound logical to me. But if I didn't need help I would not be on this board and my H would be home with us, so I agree I do make a lot of excuses. I am just so confused! When I said I think the move will be good for "us", I did mean the boys and I. This house has too many bad memories(never liked it too much either) and the new place is in a development with kids all around(which is what S10 needs). When I read your post back( and believe me I read it over and over) I feel like this spineless, pathetic person. And maybe that is what I do need to hear, who knows. "No wonder the kids are confused. What kind of standards is this teaching them about being a real man, a real H, and a real dad? What do you think it is teaching them about respect for women? Don't you think they will grow up treating their W's just like they see the father treating their mother? Is that what you want?" God this hit hard-I don't want to teach my kids not to respect women and I always felt I was doing a good job of that. Geez Sandi you know how to make someone think and not in a bad way. Please don't think I don't appreciate your advice no matter how hard it may sound because I do. And I have had to deal with a lot of very painful things in my life, some I never thought I would make it through but I did-for some reason this just seems hopeless to me and I guess I am holding on to whatever he will give me. Wow, well I have a lot to think about tonight-Thanks Sandi, I appreciate your words and support more then you know.

Nicole