No Expectations 4

[peacetoday]

W8ing
I guess I cant really tell whats going on with him but when we connect I get a sense of closeness like hes still here,,
anyway tonightr I kind hung around so I was here when they got back..so we talked a minute
I see a broken man..looks ragged, tired depresed
lost
I feel like he feels ashamed and its hard for him to look me in eye
so he must have a concious
anyway then I go to leave car my new car doesnt start again 2 saturdays in row????
well H comes out to rescue me and this time he gets my little hybrid going
I can see he cares..he waited as I left(babysitter was coming) I
felt he was waiting to see if I was going to still leave with a car that could possbly not start again ..i waved bye

I still dont get it..probably never will..He obviously cares..loves his kids.appears to be ragged and broken..cant face me and I think he is still trying to run..run from the inevitable facing himself and god
why cant they realize they are ruining everything in their lives? why are they so self destuctive?
peace