I've read that the first 3 years after the arrival of a baby are the toughest on a marriage -- um, has anyone stopped to do the math regarding multiple children? I swear, I'm in awe of those that survive it.
I can see how it happens...the tiredness, the "what about me?", the interloper :-) (I mean that in the kindest way). I absolutely adore my time with Charlotte...I think h thinks that means that I don't miss my time with him. He is so dead wrong about that but I don't know how to convince him and handle, well, the added responsibilities I have now. I wish that he weren't so black and white.
Honestly, I can also see how the seeds of WAW'dom are planted. If I didn't have such an education in it, I think I would be seething with resentment. That is, if I didn't see how my own actions (as stuck as I am with them) are contributing to the bind I feel at times. The biggest loss for me of late is the time I used to take prepping to feel "sexy", "like a woman", etc. Working out, having my hair and nails done, shopping for clothes. I never realized how much I relied on it to feel good about myself, needed it. I know, I know...take it for myself...find it...but (ah, the "but") I feel so internally aggravated about the whole thing..I want to shout "Hey, fella, if you'd give me a break and stop treating me like the full time mommy here I might be more able/inclined to feel like the wife." Yes, sigh, the division of labor still sucks.
Oh, wait, I suggested that things were going more smoothly, right? Ah, I guess they are but I wouldn't say "smooth". h isn't talking to me right now for reasons unknown. :-( What IS different about this sitch is that previously I'd be bending myself into a pretzel trying to figure out why. Now I figure I'll find out when he's ready. Gives me more time to read and post. Hahahaha.
Oh, my, I did not intend to be a downer. I guess I'm just missing my husband.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
"I want to shout "Hey, fella, if you'd give me a break and stop treating me like the full time mommy here I might be more able/inclined to feel like the wife."
Sage, my dear friend, it looks like you've been nearly as absent on your own thread as I have been on mine.
Hope you are doing well. How old is Charlotte now? Is she nearing 2? Both my DGS's are approaching 2 & 1/2! I can't believe it!
Peek in some time, and stop by my thread when you can. I'm finally getting back into posting again, now that my head is coming above water from the graduate work.
