Looking backward but only to move forward SEVEN

[sage]

Wow, do I even know how to do this anymore? (I mean the literal and figurative aspects of posting).

My last thread is here:

Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

Things are, well, good in many ways, better in my marriage in some ways, and worse in my marriage in others. How's that for cryptic? I consider myself a reasonably accomplished, organized, intelligent person and I cannot fathom why I am unable to seem to swing the mom-hood (she's almost 2!) and the wife-hood and the person-hood. I almost told h today how much I missed what I think of as our post-DB marriage (truly wonderful and happy)...I wish I had now because we had a HUGE fight later on...over eggs (or lack thereof if you can imagine) and I feel horrible and he was livid and I swear it was like the old days...him feeling as though he is trapped and challenged and questioned and misunderstood and me, well me, just feeling like crap.

I know my sitch isn't comparable to so many on the boards so I'm not expecting out outpouring but I swear compared to how we were pre-pregnancy, well, this just s**ks.

I need the program, I need to get my head screwed on straight. I was thinking tonight...is it really that much more effort to do things right? (My excuse in my head is always that I can't try more because I have no time and energy...but I almost think the way I WAS doing things was far less time consuming than this return to crapdom).

I really, really want my marriage back.

Sage