Thanks for posting whitneypinch! I really have no intention of leaving, though I guess it could come to that. I am much more inclined to try to be the one that stays. The kid issue would be very challenging (or something probably would have been done long ago), but the example they are seeing now isn't healthy, so I am not sure it would be worse. I would not expect separating to make me feel better, but it might be the only way to move forward at all, this has been a long term stalemate.
(((((Lisa)))))(((((Ingrid))))) whitneypinch, if there was a symbol for a handshake, I'd give you one of those!
Thursday night I hardly saw W, between her getting home from work, me making a soccer practice run, and her getting to bed because she has a nasty cold that has been lingering, and getting worse lately. I saw her a lot Friday. She went with her mom to fetch her dad from the hospital Friday morning/early afternoon, and helped them get situated at home. They live in the next neighborhood over, which is really convenient. Anyway, she had called the doc's office Friday morning. I had a previously scheduled appointment that afternoon to go over some labs. So they offered to let her share the appointment. So we sat in the doc's office for two hours waiting to get in (this doc is very good, very thorough, and always runs very late), reading magazines. Then we had S18 bring S's 10 and 13 into town and we ate at a Chinese buffet. Everything went fine, it almost always does when we are out. There isn't any connection of any sort, it probably looks normal, it is hard to describe. We got home, and she went to bed, since she had to work today. So I won't see her again until about 8 tonight.
Lisa, I don't think more time is going to make any difference at all. To all appearances, it seems she likes living this way. At least there is no indication otherwise. Except she would like be to do a better job of getting the laundry done and put away! She doesn't have any pressure on here from me (any time I do anything she says she feels guilty, well, I wonder why?, and yet even that is my fault. So, I am going to have to apply a shakeup, I fear.
Ingrid, when I started reading the boards I started at the SSM board, but as time went on I though that the issue was WAY deeper than that. I think that focusing on that issue doesn't even scratch the surface. I still read there, but I just don't think it fits. I'd like to get to the point where that's the only problem!
What 180? I'm not sure it i a 180, and I am not sure it is DBing...but here is what I am thinking about....I probably won't do this until after the first of March, as S19 is supposed to get to come home for a couple of days before his all expenses paid trip to Djbouti, Africa, courtesy of the USMC, and I don't want to do anything to mess that up. Also, our anniversary is Feb. 16 (23 years), and I have an irrational hope that she will notice that it is our anniversary and remember that she is married! Anyway, I think I am just going to ask her if she wants to be married. And if she does, what does she want to do about it. And if she doesn't, ask her to leave. I think, with an extreme stretch, I could buy her out. I might sell later, but I would like to wait.
So there it is. It is a crap plan, but it is what I've got. I can't do this for years more. I wish I had not let it go so far, but that is water under the bridge.
I will put a helmet on now, for I am sure there will be 2x4s!
I'll give hugs, anyway! You can't get away from them!
