Ice storm on friday gave us all a day off. It was so nice. H was at his parent's house and I could here in his voice that he wished he was here. He called a few times to check in. He first called to see if I had work because the roads were bad and he was worried about me. I appreciated what he said. Not reading into it though.
Got up early today to run some errands since tomorrow I am tied up in the morning with d12 at softball, in the afternoon for d12 and a swim meet and then the super bowl...and s15 and his friends.
H called this morning. Must be in a real down cycle with the depression. I could tell in his voice he had been crying. He asked what I had bought at sam's and when I told him he said it sounded like i was having a super bowl party.
I told him that s15 was having some of his buddies over and that I had told s15 that i was going to invite H over to watch with me and d12 upstairs. S15 was ok with it....relatively speaking. H was crying and saying that s15 didn't want him there. I told h that it was fine, but I respect his decision to do what he wants. He can come or not....
Anyway , he showed up a little while later looking shattered. He was quiet while he was here. D12 was doing homework in her room and I sat with h for a bit. He left for work, crying on the way out telling me to have a great night.
I could hear him sob all the way to the driveway. It was heart wrenching, yet part of me still wonders if he is manipulating me or if he is reaching out to me. I just don't know. It is so very hard to watch the depression and wait.
Anyway, just went out to dinner with my dad and the kids. We had such a nice time. It was good to get out. Took d12 to Dick's to look at softball bats for her birthday and my dad gave s15 the book to study for his learner's permit (he will be s16 in march). It kind of made me gasp to think that he will be 16.....and his dad is missing so much of his life.
So that's that. Looking forward to a busy day tomorrow and then the game. I have been a giant fan since I was a little girl and my grandpa would watch them and root for them, so it will be fun tomorrow to think of him.
