She then said that she might not be able to drop off /pick up the kids from school. Then she proceeded to say how she could 'pay' one of the other moms to take our kid to school.
Now, I work at home and have a very flexible schedule. I always get them whenever she has to work during those times. Why would it suddenly be 'not ok' to ask me to help?
Well, a couple of possible explanations come to mind. One is that she doesn't want to have your workday interrupted, since your time is valuable in earning the family's main wage.
Another possibility - and please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just asking - could she be worried about the possibility of you "self-medicating" and then driving the car with the kids? Most moms I know are like momma bears about who and where their kids ride in a car; could she be worried about you?
As for telling the OM's wife - I vote for it. It may not be the best thing for your R; in fact, it usually backfires because the WAS is so mad you attempted to mess up their new R. However, I feel this poor woman deserves the opportunity to save her marriage from your homewrecking wife. If you're braqve enough to risk your wife's wrath, I would do the following: - contact OM's wife - in some setting where she won't firts call her H and ask him why you'd be contacting her (don't give him a chance to put his lies together). - tell her your wife has a history of affairs, and you're concerned that her contacts with OM are inappropriate and a danger to her marriage. - Give her a copy of the phone records, along with a copy of Divorce Remedy - Ask her to keep secret that you told her, for the sake of your own marriage.
Yes, it could stir up a hornet's nest - BUT - if you were her, wouldn't you want to know?
AS for telling your W you weren't going to the casino night: I would have handled that a little differently. "I'm not going" IS kind of passive-aggressive - "I'm not going and I'm springing it on you as a surprise and YOU figure it out!!!"
I would have recommended a different answer: "You know, I've decided not to go to that. I'm really not comfortable any more pretending to be a couple in public when we are separating and planning a divorce."
Oh - and as for the text messages - are you in a state where infidelity matters in the divorce court? If so, start collecting what evidence you need.
