I'd just say that I do believe you have "welcomed" your husband back simply by allowing him to communicate with you, and by listening compassionately. Sometimes the kindest and most loving thing we can do to one who has hurt us so grievously is to let them know that we have forgiven them and are no longer part of the walking wounded. It seems to me that the way you have treated him, and the way you are living your life, sends exactly that message.
I agree with our friend FIB who has said before that most of us arrive at this site with our marriage long since on life support. The chances are not good for many of us by the time we are posting here. Yet post we did, DB we did, all along hoping against hope that our situation might be one of the victories.
I'm with you however, in thinking that many of these lost spouses never do return, at least not in a healthy form that would allow for a future relationship.
You've been one of the most thoughtful and introspective people I have known on this site. We've felt your pain as you've processed your way through this journey that your husband set the two of you on. I'm very happy to see that you seem to well on your way to completing your journey and emerging a healthier and stronger person. We can only hope that your husband will manage to do the same.
Life will be as good to us as we allow it to be. We can choose to wallow in the mire, or we can choose to find the positives in an otherwise bad situation. I've chosen to do the latter and have received great blessing. I believe that you have chosen the latter also.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
