I am trying, I really am. I chose to move out of this house because he is not paying my mortgage and did not want kids to be here if sheriff came to door. I am going to school and working part-time. That is why H was here-I have to be a clinincal at 6:30 am and it is an hour away but it got cancelled. He would not get up to get out of bed so yes I take advantage of that. It is so hard not to feel his arms around me. That is why he is around here all the time he watches the kids when I am working or school. They boys were suppose to sleep over his house but they don't like staying there and he'd rather go out to bar and spend money then stock his apt. with food for kids. I am scared if I go dark which I am still not quite sure the difference between the an NC but I will read again, he will forget about me. Kind of "out of site, out of mind"! He has my DR book and won't give it back-I don't know why because he has not read it so I have to get another one. It is hard to GAL when all your friends are married-I am like the plague because we made all our friends together here. I think the new place will be good for all of us, it is further from H's apt and both boys have more friends in that development. I still feel bad for him when I know he is miserable and depressed. So I am just suppose to ignore that and not be there for him? That is so hard! I am hoping with school, work, and the boys-I won't have time to think about H, but I doubt it. Cried lastnight and texted him--I just suck at this. He was my bestfriend and I miss talking to him about everything--how do you just let go? I promise my kids I won't give up and I feel like that is what I will be doing?
Me 36 H 35 S 13 & 10 M 15 yrs- 2gether 17yr Bombs 7/06, 6/07 ILYBNILWY 7/07 OW 7/07 Left 9/07
