Sox,
I don't think it matters where you start in improving your situation. You can start with doing a 180 and see if it changes the patterns in your M. You can work on slowing down and being less reactive to your H. You can work on accepting your situation as it is. You can work on staying with the feelings that your H provokes in you, and being less reactive to it. You can work on rebalancing your life and immersing yourself in a hobby that enriches you.

At this point though, it seems that you are reacting to your H and situation, and have lost your grounding. You need to reclaim your center and power by either practicing a behavioral, or cognitive change. Note, that I said practice.

If he's being consistently verbally abusive to you, then that's a different matter. The strategy then becomes limiting the amount of time spent with him, to the extent needed.

CL

CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching