Can your W provide your needs? Right now, no. She's making that clear. What about when OM goes away? She will still have ambitions - which is fine but where will you rate? Will both of you be willing to find out whether or not you and your W can balance your marriage along with your SEPARATE lives (ambitions, career, external friends, etc.)? These all feed into the marriage but only because they are things that we as individuals bring. We share these things with our spouse and we do not view them as competitive entities to our marriage.
Michael McC,
Just re-read this and need to say thanks for it. I've been focusing so much on the PA/EA that I've been ignoring the much bigger problem - which is what you describe. She can't even have an A because of her ambitions and this is not a normal way of behaving. Certainly the EA is only making everything worse and keeping the sitch in limbo, but she also doesn't know how to balance a R with her work. And that may never change.
Keeping this in my mind will help me enforce my boundaries as I move forward with GAL and moving on. I deserve a loving and supportive relationship and even though I love WAW, she can't provide this long-term. I'll remain positive and open - maybe the C will help her work through her issues - but need to take care of myself first.
I know I'm repeating myself in these posts - just need to emblazon it in my head and make it real.
