I know you are trying to help, but at this point, I don't think that entertaining such an extreme hypothetical scenario is the way to go. I spend too much time worrying about the what-ifs and not enjoying the what IS. My post was a vent of sorts, and an expression of what I was feeling when I wrote it. It was cathartic to get it out and in doing so I have gained some new insights into myself and my R. So it has served its purpose.
