Confusion of a WAW (Thread 6)

I think that you should make yourself available when your W wants you, but stop the pursuing of asking her to do stuff. This will give you some extra space while still attending to some of her needs. Take any pressure that she might be feeling from you away. It sounds like she has enough on her plate right now and doesn't need added pressure from you.

I agree with that - I'm trying to avoid getting in the way of whatever she is doing, but she is always so vague when it comes to asking me stuff, that it's difficult to figure her out. She never outright asks for anything - It's always very subtle.

This is a very pressure filled and pursuing statement. Were you trying to make her feel guilty? I can totally understand if you were, but I'm surprised that it didn't blow up in your face. That kind of thing would not go over well with my W. I'm glad that it didn't for you though.

It sounded harsh, but it wasn't supposed to - I was just trying to figure out what was making her so miserable last night. She has started to open up to me a little, off and on, so I was hoping that she'd talk to me a little about what is on her mind and what is troubling her.

Your W seems to be in a pretty fragile state right now, so I don't think that you should completely shut her out. You do need time for yourself to GAL though. I don't think that I ever read about you doing much for yourself. Your needs always seem to take a back burner to the rest. That's not healthy and not a long term plan. Of course, I only know what you are writing here, so things are probably different than they seem.

I've not been doing enough for myself at all - The last few weeks I've just been telling myself 'When I move, I will....', so hopefully I'll actually follow through on that Living with W again has been really tough - Not just with the occasional hiccup we have had that has caused stress, but just by her general state of mind right now. She's feeling pretty alone, so I don't know if this is my time to step up and take more control (as I did this week, by strong arming her into going to a C).