For Those w/ LD Wives

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, friends, I'm actually HOME I checked myself in last Thursday and what started out to be 3 days "inpatient" w/ me staying there 24/7 ended up w/ me staying there 24/7 until yesterday, so just over a week.

To be real honest, it was scary knowing I was "getting out," b/c I actually now had to go "back to reality," but I really missed the boys and knew/know they need me. They just knew I was in the hospital and that I couldn't have visitors "right now."

When I talked to S8 yesterday about me going back today (Saturday), he was really upset. He said you just got home and I wanted to spend the day w/ you, but when I said "honey, what's the most important thing here," he said "you getting better." Obviously, he doesn't know what I'm "getting better" from, but they'll all be ok.

As for me saying I'm going back today, I will continue "partial" for about 5 days which means I go in about 9 or so, first class is at 9:30 and stay until about 4 on the weekends and about 2:30 on weekdays. So that means that if I truly only have to do partial for 5 days, I will be able to at least go to work from about 3 - 5 Monday - Wednesday next week and then possibly be back @ work full time Thursday.

Ok, as for H. My whole check-in process was a complete cluster fcuk. I got there about 9:30 a.m. for an "assessment." I had no clue if they would end up keeping me there or what was going to happen. Anyway, they did keep me there and I ended not getting back to the "unit" until about 2:30. I had to have mom & dad bring me my clothes, etc. After I was finally back in the unit, I called Travis and I just told him "Babe, I got hooked on pain meds and I've had to check myself into Rivercrest."

Of course, he was pissed at first, but I understood that; I understood he wasn't necessarily mad AT ME, but he needed time to process this whole thing b/c obviously this was/is a very big thing and he had no idea. Then again, he may have had a bit of anger towards himself after he had time to think about it for awhile, b/c maybe he realized he actually had seen some signs and chose to ignore them. At first, all I wanted was for him to be able to say "I love you, I support you and everything will be ok w/ us," but he could not say that to me at that point.

Bottom line w/ H though is that he "processed" this whole thing and is now completely supportive and just wants me to get well. He even suggested I find a therapist to see once I'm done w/ this rehab and that if he can, by speaker phone or whatever, he would want to be in on our sessions.

Being in rehab was completely surreal for me. I NEVER thought I would end up in a place like that. The people on my unit ended up becoming like a family to me. I'll save the story about the "looney" on the other side actually calling me on the phone in my unit b/c he was continually "watching" me for later.

All in all, a very good experience. I'm still fighting some of my "issues," as one of the drugs they sent me home on was valium which I had never taken before. Obviously, we all know this is addictive too, so I am having to keep my will power up not to "take just one more" than what my dosage is supposed to be and I'm actually doing really well w/ it this a.m.

Oh and they had me on something called Darvon which was some sort of pain med at first, then took me off of that, but I truly didn't ever have any horrible w/drawals at all!!

We got to go to "rec" at 3 each day. I seriously half the time felt like I was in elementary school again, but I have always "beaded," so I made some bracelets and I'm going to wear them to "remind me." I also made a key chain w/ some beads and in between the beads spelled out "addict" so I won't forget. Bottom line is I'm an addict -- not just a pain med addict -- I'm an addict meaning I can/could get addicted to anything that "makes you feel good."

Ok, that was long enough. I may think of some more things later, but just wanted to fill you guys in. I'm home and doing well, but also still going to partial treatment.