Wow, Foo, you've been through a lot. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with your approach. You have to think about your children. They need a strong, stable parent and right now your W certainly is not it. I think it took a lot of guts to do everything you've done. I think calling CPS was the right thing to do. (Will they be following up at all?)
Your sitch amazes me. You didn't have a job but they expected you to pay child support? OM had the nerve to call you a deadbeat dad? And the best part of all is the fact that he thinks the insurance money for the van was his because he was paying the insurance! First of all the insurance money was for the van, not for reimbursement of the insurance he was paying. And just who bought the van? I'm sure he didn't. This guy has no integrity. What a putz. I don't blame you for confronting him after everything with the kids, and the van. And good for you for keeping your head about you.
And your wife has no right to keep you from talking to your kids! Perhaps if your job goes well (IBIG congrats on that, btw), you can get them a cell phone. A family plan is pretty cheap these days.
As far as your W and her feelings for the children, like so many other WAS, she seems quite alien. Sounds like she is justifying everything to suit her needs. Wouldn't the kids be better together? Have you thought about going for full custody? Part of me also wonders if she is just interested in child support. And, as sad as it sounds, perhaps she doesn't have room in her life for them at the moment. They're imposing on her new life. But I can't believe this life for her is better! Perhaps she's going through a MLC?
I'm sure after everything you've been through, and seen your kids go through, that you are quite detached from her. You're right, life goes on and there's no turning back. Keep your nose to the grindstone. I'm so glad you have a job. I know for certain that soon you'll be in a place of your own. Continue to be strong for your kids. And, yes, they will remember who walked with grace and dignity.
