Thanks, Faith. I talked to my mom tonight. She rarely discusses H with me anymore but I told her how he's living with his grandmother right now and he's just a lost person. She feels really badly for him and is praying he finds his way out. I don't think she expects us to ever get back together either but I wanted to tell her the things he had said to me, so she knew he recognized how wrong he'd been and how sorry he is. The thing is, honestly, and I'll bet Shades understands this, even if my H wanted to work things out that would require me to give up all I have worked so hard for here, and move back to be with him. Am I willing to do that? Not so much. I am happy with what I've been able to do on my own, and to give it all up again to move back to where he is...I don't want to. He would never quit his job(s) and move to be with me (please don't try to say he would if he wanted it bad enough; trust me, he would not leave his work). The more I do to correct my own life and build up myself here in my new surroundings, the less likely it is I'd ever move away.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
