And yes I would rather be told than not. It was her H who told me anyway but at first I did not have the full story or I would have told him right then. It wasn't until a couple weeks later that H sat down and told me the whole story and had the proof to back it all up.
But I do know in talking to him and her that he does not have even half the truth. She is the one who initiated the A to begin with.
I think what has been holding me back is being afraid that her H will throw her out and she will run to my H. Even though my H says he would not go there again....it is hard to believe what they say after the fact when they lied for so long.
