Originally Posted By: steve477
I know I have to keep my cool... just so damn hard sometimes. I wont be a doormat! If we are to start a new R then I wont go into it as the weaker partner.

This is my concern as well that I will end up as doormat and for sure she would not want to have a R with a doormat. but I think about this way: She does not want a divorce because I am a doormat she wants a divorce because I was too controlling and demanding.

My first goal now is to dissipate her anger and I had to agree to file a divorce just to make her more relax. She did become more friendly. Though she still wants divorce we communicate as friends.

And I see it as the second stage of
1. Reducing negative emotions
2. Reestablishing a relationship (friendship)
3. Realignment of romance
4. Recommitment

Some people here say that it is not building friendship but as she gets what she wants (divorce) she does not have to be antagonist , it is easier that.

We Shall See

So basically what I would say is that in this stage of the crisis it is useless to worry if we are perceived as doormat. Hopefully later when the R are healed it can be an issue...(faster...please)


Me 42
W 27
Married: 6 years
Together: 7 years
Daughter: 3 years
Wife away 2/16/2007 - 12/27/2007 (School in a different country)
EA/PA began on Jan 07 (found out 12/29/07)
Papers served on 2/6/2008