Ok, everyone, much has happened. I am not going to write a novel, but I will try to give a good update here.
As you know, last Sunday I exposed the affair to the OMW.
For the past week, life has been nothing short of a roller coaster. Some HIGHs and LOWS. I guess that comes with the territory.
The OMW decided to take a stand and not put up with her repeat-cheater husband. She filed for divorce this week. She is doing the right thing.
The OM in my sitch has had everything blow up in his face. After all the notes have been compared, stories shared, etc. it turns out this guy is a compulsive liar (among other things). He has been playing his wife, my wife, and who knows who else for a long time.
My wife came to me last night and told me the A was over. She realizes now that she made a huge mistake and can't believe she was so cloudy by the fog of the affair (my words, not hers.) Without going into a lot of detail, she knows everything, and I mean everything that guy told her was a lie. She feels like a fool for falling for him and his words. She hates herself for what she let happen. But she wants to redeem herself if she can.
I want to point out something VERY important here. When I first started posting here, I was in a world of emotional pain. I didn't know mad from sad or glad. I was willing to give my wife the keys to the kingdom as long as she stayed with me and "tried" to leave him. After a few days of that sorrow, and GALing, things started to turn around (for me only). I was still NOT driving the bus, but at least I felt a little better about myself. Well, after encouragement from Choc, and doing some REAL soul searching myself, I realized I didn't want to just accept what fate was given to me. Life is about choices. So I made a choice. A choice that will be one of my life defining choices. A DIFFICULT choice to expose the affair to the OMW. That is what set everything in motion, and also SET ME FREE.
My wife told me last night, and these are her words: "Thank you for telling ____. I know if you had not done that, the A would have never ended, and he would have never told his wife. I know now why you did what you did, and I respect you for that."
Talk about a sense of euphoria--- dignity regained, integrity intact, and the best part of it is.... now my Wife, who I love very much, and I have a chance to work on the issues that got us to this point. From day one, I only wanted a fair playing field to work on the changes WE needed to make for each other. I could never do that with a 3rd person in my marriage. NEVER EVER.
My wife has committed to working on herself, us and everything else. I have made the same commitment. She is willing to give up all the lies and deceit. We are putting things in place to help her get through these oh-so-difficult weeks and months of withdrawal and sadness. I believe in her, and I know she can do it with help.
I keep saying I have no idea what the future holds -- and that is still true. I just now know that the future FINALLY holds some hope and a chance for the family, marriage and life I have been fighting so hard for.
