Ok, so why does he do this? Most people, when set on something do not have to mention it constantly.
Are you saying the reiteration of the 'bomb' message again months later is the way a WAS reconvinces themselves, ie happier without me, better apart, blah blah? Does this actually show their indecisiveness?
Yes. I am saying that someone who is constantly repeating the same thing but is still at home is confused. He does not know what he wants. I don't care if he says he cannot because he cannot afford it......if a person wants out bad enough, after 7 months you can damn well bet they would have found a way. Least I know I would have.
This is why I was saying now is the perfect time to put together all that she has learned, to show him all he will be missing, to start being vague and do those 180's. He will notice.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I hear ya Jeanette1120. It's great advice, especially show him, 180's, etc...
I guess I was coming from the kicked-out LBS whose WAW will reiterate those kind of 'bomb' comments every so often. I believe my WAW is confused. I thought it an interesting insight to state anyone who keeps bringing it up, however often, is trying to convince themselves of their choices and it shows their indecisiveness.
Take a nice gesture for what it is, him simply being kind and nothing else.
Do not look into going out for dinner with the family as an attempt of reconcilliation.
When it comes to the kids, they need as much normalcy as possible and if they can at least see Mom and Dad getting along it will only add to their security.
HSS, IF, and I am only saying IF, you end up Divorced, for the sake of the kids you have to be able to comunicate with this Man.
There will be graduations, and weddings and other blessings in the future, and the kids will need both of you there.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Update. He came over Friday and did put stuff in the attic. Then my car was dead - he said it was just my usual battery cable being corroded so he fixed that. It was pouring so he then emptied the gutters. We then went to dinner, but took separate cars so he could go right home. Kinda disappointed about the 2 car thing but tried to be positive.
Still having trouble with both kids, spoke to him about it in length. He is going to talk to them for the millionth time about respecting me and doing their chores. I called my EAP program at work and am trying to set up a therapist for either the family or them. Both of them do not respect my authority unless I get physical and I don't want to rely on that you know. But all H has to do is raise his voice and they pee themselves, know what I mean? I think we have all been there as kids ourselves.
Me 43 H 44 S-13 D-9 Separated 90 days 6/28/05 H Says he is done-10/2/06-day after 18th anniv Moved out 10/2/07-to father's house-day after 19th wedding anniv-GF now H Filed for D 7/08
P.S. Saw the lawyer Fri. He confirmed that H is paying more than required. Very interesting information I learned.
Me 43 H 44 S-13 D-9 Separated 90 days 6/28/05 H Says he is done-10/2/06-day after 18th anniv Moved out 10/2/07-to father's house-day after 19th wedding anniv-GF now H Filed for D 7/08
Of course I am! Not rocking the boat. He can also find out the same info, its not a secret.
Took the taxes last night, filing joint for the last time. He was grilling me, had me ask the tax guy for 2 copies, didn't trust me to make one which bothers me as I am honest and he has no reason to distrust me but always does somehow.
Got a name of a family therapist to call who can talk to me hopefully help me deal with the kids and to them if needed.
Me 43 H 44 S-13 D-9 Separated 90 days 6/28/05 H Says he is done-10/2/06-day after 18th anniv Moved out 10/2/07-to father's house-day after 19th wedding anniv-GF now H Filed for D 7/08
Great move going to a therapist. Make sure you like him/her, you will know right away. I am going to see a Psyciatrist (sp) this afternoon. I can' wait. Very expensive but I need to get my head on straight.
