Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You???

[SueS]

Hi tal - Thanks for the post.

Busy day today at work. D3 and I did go out for dinner last night and then went to the bookstore. It was fun. We got her one of my favorite kids books (yes she loves it too). It's called The Caboose That Got Loose. Really cute.

My parents are now in town. D3 and I had lunch with them. It was nice. D3 will be spending the afternoon with them. H has been odd lately. Last night he called home from work. Just as he called, he got another call on his line. He begged me to hold on for him. I did and all he wanted was to tell me that there were some leftovers in the fridge for me if I hadn't eaten. That's it. He came home and then left to workout. I woke up at 12:30 to hear him clicking away on the pc and then he was asleep this morning on the couch with his phone attached to him. He called a couple of times this morning from home. The first time was to ask me why I hadn't taken the muffin he'd bought me for breakfast. I told him I hadn't seen it and thanked him for buying it. He again mentioned that he'd picked it up for me. Every time I feel like he's drifted too far away, he does something decent for me. I just feel like I need to be away from all the ups and downs of this mess.

I had a long talk with my mom yesterday about some things. H had asked me if my parents would like to stay and watch the Super Bowl with us. When I told him that my dad's dr. appt. was early the next morning & they wanted just get to the hotel & rest on Sun. eve., he said, Well, I didn't think they'd want to be here anyway. He said, I assume you've told them what's going on. So, back to my mom. She said, Sue, I honestly don't think H knows what he wants. She said him asking us to be there for the Super Bowl, yet to turn around and think that we wouldn't want to be there because of the current situation really speaks to his confusion. She said, I know it's so hard for the two of you to see any of this because you're right there in the mix, but for me, as somewhat of an outsider, I can tell you that he's always looked like someone who is confused. Someone who doesn't know what they want and never gives a situation enough time to work itself out before jumping to another person, another job, another state.....etc. I also got an email from a friend that I hadn't talked to in a while. I explained some of what was going on. She'd been there for me during his last affair and was the one who dog sat for us so we could go on a weekend trip to try to get reconciliation going. She told me that she didn't think that he'd ever change and that she knows it hurts, but she'd like to see me get out of the unhealthy spot I've been in for so long.

A friend of mine me an email the other day and it was titled Our Friend Gloria..........It was the lyrics to "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.

Well, back to work. I do actually have some things to get done before 5:00 pm today.

Sue