((((Lisa)))) The funniest thing about the flods is that it might not even rain there! It rains on the mountains, and the washes fill up, and run over the roads. They know where it is coming, and put up the barricades. A few years ago they passed the "Stupid Motorist Law". If you drive around the barricades, and get stuck, and need to be rescued, the government can charge you the cost of the rescue. A year or two ago a woman and her kids got stuck. She tried to not let them rescue her! It think they ended up charging her with child endangerment!
Have a good evening tonight. Remember what your goal is and try to draw W into a fun filled evening with you and the boys! Don't forget to walk the dog!!!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
She works today, so she won't be home until 8 or so. And probably quite quickly to bed. But, I will try to have good interactions in the time there is!
Her father had knee replacement surgery Tuesday, she spent the day at the hospital with her mom. Everything went well, so that's good.
She talks about the future as if we were going to be together, but does she think that will be living the way we are? Could she really think that? A frightening though!
Hi Jeff.. I saw you poseted somewhere else about how to rename your url to "thread.." and linking threads, but couldnt find it again. If you know how this is done, can you let me know? Thanks!
I read your sitch often and I ALWAYS think, you're wife is nuts for not seeing the kind compassionate man that you are and holding you at arms length. Interesting that you dont think she is in MLC afterall. Does she have any history of depression before this happened? When did it start for her (really) ?
The easy way to get the url to post with a name is to hit reply under a message, and get to the reply window. Open a new browser window, and go to the page you want to link to, highlight the address, and copy it (right click copy). Back in the reply window, there is an icon with the earth and a chain (www link?). Click on that. Paste the address there (get rid of the extra http:// if you need to). Hit ok, in the next window type the text you want to appear, and hit ok, and you are done. It ends up looking like this: [ url=http://some_address.com]The text you want to see[/url ] without the spaces at the beginning and the end. So, if you wanted to, you could do it manually.
Thanks for your kind words! I haven't been perfect, but the more I think about it, the more I think my "punishment" has exceeded my crimes. I've questioned whether she is MLC because at some level she has always (except before we were married?) been like this. It's worse now, so maybe there is MLC on top of it. I've sort of decided that it doesn't make a lot of difference, what I can do is about the same, in any case. I don't know that she has a history of depression, she's always been the "realistic" one, and the worrier. I tend to worry a lot less, and that bothers her! When did it start? I can't put a time to it, there's been a lot of rejection for a long time. Fifteen years at least, probably more. I just didn't realize how much it hurt at the time. I'm sure that my resentment messed up my behavior, which led to her rejecting me more, which led to more resentment....and so on and on!
Thanks for stopping in. I always read your thread. I don't always post, since others have often said what I'd say! I think you've really been doing great!
ah bless you, thanks. Not so great today! Slipped up big time. I hate that we end up looking back so far..my BF made a comment that made me think this went back about 8 years! But then he retracted it and said everything was fine till about last June when he suddenly "woke up". Its just all so complex.
Thanks for the http advice. Ha! And I was a web developer for 6 years until recently!! Good job I gave it up!
From the sounds of your thread, you also seem to have enormous patience...to stick with your wife and family through all of that. Probs a silly questions, but seeing as your in America (AZ - Arizona??), have you tried that Retroville? My sister did in CA and it worked a treat. Her and her H had 12 years of rejecting behaviours and hardened resentments on both sides but it broke the cycle for them. You have probs heard of it, been and done that and designed the t-shirt hey :-)
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
We did it.....I think it would help, but she was so convinced that everything was all my fault that we pretty much did no follow up. I think it is a really good program, but there has to be at least a degree of commitment by both parties. I guess it could stil come in handy, if hings ever move in the right direction.
Thought I'd stop by and say hello! Hope you have a lovely weekend this weekend and that it doesn't rain!
Originally Posted By: dry_heat
But, I will try to have good interactions in the time there is!
How did the evening go?
Originally Posted By: dry_heat
She talks about the future as if we were going to be together, but does she think that will be living the way we are? Could she really think that? A frightening though!
I guess it's positive that W talks about the future, but also confusing. I know DB says no OR talk, but I get the impression that you have been making lots of changes and effort and not much is happenening on her side. Is it a case of giving it more time, or do you think a 180 is in order?
(((Jeff)))
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
All I have to say here if you separate you may feel better for a awhile but will really bad. As some one that did not change until I lost it all..please please try to help each other and yourself to make it better. It can be better an it only takes one. I was areally negative and selfish person. I lost it all and went into therapy, read tons of books on marriage etc. now I am a much better person but my WAW wants nothing to do with me. I have a D4 and a S3 that I get to see every other weekend. You can not imagine how difficult it is to come home and they are no longer there. Please please try everything you can to make it work. You will not realize that leaving is worse until you leave.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
