gimmie an F, gimmie an R, gimmie an A...... No, we are not "cheerleading" our friend, we are supporting him.
Frank, self admittedly your problem has been the whole giving to much thing. You were about to enter another cycle, and you have now successfuly broken that cycle. Divorce or no divorce, you needed to begin to take the steps to save yourself. Whatever is at the end, will be what is there, and you will embrace it. You will be happier. It is not a spouces responsibility to make us happy, it is our own. You know this, you knew what you had to do, and you knew that you had to have that conversation with her long before anyone ever suggested that to you. Otherwise the cycle would have continued for both you and W. She would have continued to take you for granted, and it would have been fine, because you would have eventually started "fixing" again. I can relate to your concern to the punish and protect stuff. I can tell you from my own experiences with AmyC that she is not about coddeling or telling you what you want to hear, and you know from our talks that I am not either. The fact is man, that this is how we see it. You are getting it straight. And if you look at your recent threads you have been handed your fair share of the responsibility in all this too. The fact that instead of DBing, we are wanting you to do some self preservation says a lot about how we feel you have handled stuff. You need to make some changes....you know all this though, always have. You are just finally getting around to taking care of you. Your W isn't being villianized, she shouldn't be. We are all human, and she has fallen into a comfort zone where you will ALWAYS be her safety net. Well she needs to do as much self work as you do. And you just may have shook her up enough to do it? Who knows. You can't DB, if you are not in a place to. If you are not healthy yourself, you can't expect anyone else to get their head out due to your actions/urging. You have taken some huge steps for you in the last few days, you didn't do any of this to hurt your W, you did it to help you. Nothing wrong with that.
All I know for sure Frank, is that at the end of this road, no matter what the Lord has in store for you, you will be stronger, healthier, and you will finally be happy. You finally want to get there, you are finally choosing to get there, so as much of a b!tc# as the road might be, you are finally going to get there. There can be no testimony without a test.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
