No, it shouldn't, but it is -- especially "loving" detachment.
It's well past time for your H to fish or cut bait. If he doesn't want to work on the M and is still entertaining thoughts of D, then let him be the one to walk. Don't enable or help him walk in any way, but let him go if he so desires. He needs to grow up and to face reality. Life is not all about him. He has a wife and family he should be considering first, but he doesn't. He needs some quality time with himself, alone, to find out how he probably won't like the person he is right now.
And I think you need the space too, Lwb, very much. I think you've DB'ed you heart out for H, and he's still confused. He still refuses to see the pain he's causing you. You need time to heal from witnessing his destructive behavior.
So if your H does move out, I will tell you it is not going to be the end of the world, not for you. You will have your DD's and your friends to support you. And if the caged bird decides to not return, then so be it. If he does, then it was meant to be.
