Exerpt from an old post of mine - about 2 years old!
Quote:
I have to tell you, I am NOT "amazing". I am just a person that got tired of running away from the truth. Nothing was happening for me. I was still "stuck" after 2 years of trying to get out of my marriage, alienating my husband and "claiming" my "freedom". Yet nothing really changed. The final straw was when I was FINALLY on the verge of renting an apartment and that was the SAME DAY I lost my job. UNBELIEVABLE! But at that point, I was left with no alternative but to consider that the problem might lie in ME. It seemed once I considered that that might be the case, God just started opening my eyes. It was a months-long process. Very painful. Growth always is. The entire duration of my own MLC was over 2 years and girl, I RAN like my LIFE depended on it. I would literally COLLAPSE into bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and be asleep within a couple of minutes. I became physically exhausted, worn out. The ONE thing I think saved me was that THROUGH IT ALL, I prayed "Lord, YOUR will be DONE" and I meant it. But I had thought it was His will for me to be divorced. WHAT A LIE FROM HELL THAT IS!! When I considered the problem might be me, I prayed "Lord, SHOW ME myself as YOU see me". That's when the walls came tumbling down and it was NOT pretty. I firmly believe had I not SO wanted to be where GOD wanted me to be, even when I was lost, I would never have made it out. He never left my side but He didn't once stop me (that would be IMPOSING His will upon me - and God will NEVER do that). He waited for me. He walked it with me. Yes. I believe that. And He let me run myself ragged. Then the MINUTE I wanted to see the truth, He showed it to me. He reached right down into the hell I'd made for myself and picked me up out of it the minute I was ready. So I am not amazing. I was just broken. And mostly by my own hand. I'm being healed - my marriage is being healed, by His. He is amazing.
