I was not suggesting that you literally tell your H to 'fck off.' That may be the way it sounded, but that is not how I meant it. I see it as more of an internal mental attitude.
I see a definite Ying Yang imbalance in the Karen Household. That doesn't mean, to me, that you 'defer' to your H more, or that you even become more assertive and blunt with him.
To me, the Feminine is a very strong energy, especially in the home. It is in EQUAL power to the masculine energy. Both are needed. I think you have backed off so far from your Feminine Energy in your home and with your H (an Energy that is for you, much more 'natural') that your less developed masculine energy is left to run YOUR internal show, at least in your home and with your H. If you can picture it this way for one moment, perhaps you can see why you feel so darn confused...
I think it is admirable and diplomatic of you to want to include equally your H in all things domestic... but in so doing... you have hobbled yourself into a role that you are not comfortable.
So... either reclaim your Feminine, or learn to strengthen your Masculine in order to balance out your H's overdeveloped Feminine. In order to do that... I think Lil is right... you are going to have to start honoring your POV... or at the very least, stop minimizing it on the home front.
