ksuer - it is so strange to read your posts. You and your H and me and mine are living reversed parallel lives. We've been to 3 counselors and we've both decided not to pursue that route any further. Our physiological issues are different than you and your H's, but psychologically I am right there with you.
The taking turns works for me, the LD one, because for some reason I feel less pressure. We just started, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Porn - I have very strong views on this topic. My husband was looking at porn shortly after we were married, I was pregnant AND I realized he was calling old girlfriends (just calls - never meetings). I am strongly opposed to porn, and I felt betrayed, cheated on, and like I could never live up to the 18 year old airbrushed girls that are often crying under their make-up. The porn is out of our house. It was internet stuff - really raunchy. But that is what started the blow to my self esteem.
I feel somewhat trapped by our DD also. My H is a wonderful father. I also know how hard it would be to be a single parent most of the time, and I don't see myself dating again. Lately, I have tried to focus on H's good points and acknowledge that I am far from perfect. The taking turns is the best thing we have come up with yet. I hope it helps.
