Odd, you say "muscular calves" like it's a bad thing.
Guys - thank you for liking muscular calves! The problem is...they don't fit into those cute, sexy boots.
mrscac - I think I too have a problem with body image not because of my father's comments but because my brother used to always tell me I was fat (even though I wasn't) because he was a stick. Body image is such a fragile thing.
At first you may need to "act as if" and you may need to use whatever you've got to be able to act as if. It sounded like you were disappointed that during sex with your H the other night you weren't feeling the desire. What I've found is that the more regular sex I have with cac the more bonded I feel with him. In the past I usually didn't feel desire when the encounter started, but that has been changing. But it takes time. It didn't happen overnight. And it goes hand in hand with the belief that a good sex life is very important for myself, my H and our marriage.
I find this encouraging.
Ingrid - that is one book I have missed! I'll check it out.
Thanks guys - great tips. I think this is helping. I've felt so alone in all of this, and now I realize there are other people struggling too.
