Here I go again...Yes over the last couple of months I have been contemplating getting a divorce but have been riding the fence, swaying back and forth from one side to the other. I have been having a PA and EA for well over a year now with someone who I honestly thought I could spend my life with. But since H found out that I was contemplating leaving him, H does not know about the A, H has become a different man. Yes there are still problems that we need to work on, with a C once he finally gets around to getting an appt. But we are actually communicating on a better level than we have in years. I have been in C since Nov, trying to figure out what to do with the sitch, at one time during C I was ready to leave and call it quites. But then something happened, what I can't really put my finger on. From the begining of the PA I had problems with that, because I am married and H had a PA on me a couple of years ago. I really thought that this was not a revenge type of thing but maybe deep down it was. In C we have talked about that a couple of times and maybe it is but like I said at first it was not. I really think that it is truly a cry for help or the attention that we are so despratly needing and not getting from our M. Obviously that is why we step out of the M to get the emotional and physcial needs satisfied. We are all selfish in one way or another. I even went as far as to ask the OM that and his answer was "No because you are going to leave your H and M me." Yes at one time that was true, but now is not anymore. I still have contact with OM for the time being, I will though be breaking things off completly by the end of next week. I am waiting to do it because I don't want him and H to run into each other at a concert that I know we will both be at on Tuesday. Yes H does know who he is but does not know the extent of the R that I have with OM. H still thinks that we are just friends and that is it. Sorry I did not go into much history here but look back at my other posts and you should be able to get the jist of it. Comments questions ask away...
