Cat, Once again, I know what you're going through. Don't expect ANYTHING from your H. Don't expect him to want to tuck the kids in. Don't expect him to call or TM you. He is in pain. And doing these things probably makes it much harder for him to detach, as you said.
He is in NO condition to think about others right now. He is wrapped up in his own world right now. And until he navigates through this mess in his own head, he will be of no use for any of you. Let him go. Detach in your mind. It sounds like you're doing that. I know how it feels to want him to call. But it will be better for you if he doesn't. And YOU DON'T DO IT. Do NOT initiate contact yourself.
Your H needs time away from you to figure this stuff out. And in time, I believe he will. Going out with the guys is his way to ease the pain. But at some point, he has to face the pain.
Focus on you and your kids. Do something fun wiht the kids this weekend.
Remember, this S is a necessary step towards making your family healthy. The way you were all living was not healthy for ANYBODY.
You did good. YOu will be okay. Expect the setbacks. But know that every day you are getting stronger.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
