But here's another update. We don't yet have a temporary parenting plan in place. I see the kids "when she says so" which is basically every other weekend and then a couple of weekday nights. I spend no overnights with them because she has disallowed me from coming to the house, and I don't have money for my own place. I have asked repeatedly for residential time with my kids. Time in the house. overnight. mornings. I used to make em pancakes in the morning and popcorn at night. She has repeatedly refused my requests. On what grounds?, you might ask. She "doesn't feel comfortable" with me in the house. I suggest that she goes away while I am there. Still no.
So last night I called my kids at the house, to say goodnight. Turns out the W is out at a basketball game with a friend. Three of my kids, the S12, S11, and D6, are home alone. The D9 is sleeping over at a friend's house. This is a school night, mind you.
I cannot believe this is happening. She goes out and leaves the kids alone. I am 10 minutes away, happy to be with them, in fact, and they are alone. My six year old daughter is putting herself to sleep.
I phoned her, no answer. I know she ignored the call. I left a voicemail saying "I understand you are at the game and the kids are home alone. This is irresponsible parenting. I want to know if you will let me go over there to put them to bed." Immediately she calls me back, "I'm on my way home. They're fine" It's like she got caught. The game wasn't over, but for some reason (wonder what it was?) she left early.
I told her to call me when she got home. I phone the kids again, still awake watching TV, 930pm. Get to bed, I say. I'm not mad at you, but it's time for bed. Brush your teeth. (parenting through the phone).
She doesn't call back. At 1005pm, I call her again, she tells me she's "pulling into the driveway." Uh-huh. Then I repeat, this is not responsible. She starts to justify why it is ok to leave them for 4 hours on a school night. I am having none of it.
Then she tells me I am making the kids "homeless". [See, now that there are lawyers involved, and I am out of the house, I have pushed for an equitable splitting of assets and income, so I can get my own place. That means, we don't keep the big house. Which means, we sell it. I'm not sure what is surprising to her about this.] She is just pissed. All the while I am speaking calmly but firmly.
She tells me she will never talk to me again, and that all communication henceforth will be through her lawyer. Oh! Too bad! And the last 18 months have been pure pleasure! How will I survive without the constant unfoudned accusations, name calling, and lies? I don't say this either. I just say OK and hang up.
