We have a saying here in Greece, if I try to translate it, it goes "slowly, slowly the "not so ready yet" turns into honey" (poor translation I am afraid but you get the picture)...
This next bit relates to some previous posts on my thread about W LL and apologies etc.
Next weekend, I'm on a GAL night out with my new friends. I received a txt from them saying they needed a deposit to pay for the transport cos 13 of us are travelling out of town. Any way I didn't immediately have the cash on me, but W volunteered to lend me the money so I could secure my place on the bus. She did ask some question about how often I'd be going out with them, and I gave her some vague answers.
Anyway W has been out shopping with MIL today, and she surprises me by giving me a shirt which she's bought for me to wear on this night out. (I think she's communication something to me).
Also tonight I asked W if it was ok to talk about "us", I did add that this would be humorous not serious R talk. Anyway I told her that on the previous night as I was making my sexual advances and she was rejecting me, that I had a deja vous moment, I just felt all of this has happened before, right down to groaning the same utterances as I (censored). I told W that if I wasn't so (censored) at the time I would have burst out laughing. At that point W and I fell about started laughing about the whole scenario.
Well I think I've broke the Ice with W but in a much different way.
Me:50 W: 49 T:20yrs M: 14 yrs D:11 2005 PA 2006: EA (2003 : 2007) 2007: April ILYBNILWY Aug PA, Sept Separate 2008: Feb Piecing 2009 Limbo 2011: Separated (same house) 2013: Divorcing
Well I think I've broke the Ice with W but in a much different way.
Glad you're still making steady progress and not taking anything for granted. So Forrest was right ... life is like a layer of ice ;-) I've started a new thread but have been stalled for a few days to refocus my efforts - maybe you can help with another jump start.
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
Not a great deal to report, but hear are some high points.
Washed W car today, she said thank you on more than one occasion, she really please b/c b/f was here yesterday showing off her freshly valeted car.
Tried on the shirt W bought me for my GAL guy's night out next week, she's very happy with the fit. ( I thinks she's expressing her LL). I thanked her and kissed her, but she still struggling with kisses on the lips.
Later got a couple of dreamy "Arhhh.... you ok" from her, to which I replied yes.
W complained that with her b/f being here last night and me going out next week, that we're going to go 2 weeks without spending time together watching movies.
I had a good work out at the gym (10k run no problem).
I'm on these boards 24/7. At the moment I'm just reading and commenting on others.
My sitch is moving along with lots of baby steps for which I am grateful.
Lots of things going through my mind which I wasn't particularly going to post on but here are some of them.
W and I seem to be piecing some kind of M back together, although neither of us have actually said that this is what we're doing. I personally would like to say something because we've had a marriage fail because of assumptions and mis communications. I want to say "are we piecing something back together or what ?" I want to make sure we are doing something positive rather than just going through the motions of living in the same house together.
Also I want some form of R talk to basically acknowledge what has gone on in the last 6 months. I'm not pushing for an apology or anything like that, I at least want to discuss what we can both do to prevent it happening again ( her running to OM). At the moment my "assumption" is that she feels I won't be able to forgive or respect her if she tells all or discusses the past.
I've narrowed R talk down to saying something like "There are some difficult subject which we're eventually going to have to discuss".
So lots of baby steps, things look positive, and we're moving forward slowly. I'm also thinking of when I should move from newcomers to the piecing section, but I can't do that until I know we're officially piecing.
Lan
Me:50 W: 49 T:20yrs M: 14 yrs D:11 2005 PA 2006: EA (2003 : 2007) 2007: April ILYBNILWY Aug PA, Sept Separate 2008: Feb Piecing 2009 Limbo 2011: Separated (same house) 2013: Divorcing
I think Michele’s book recommend not to initiate R talk, let the WAS initiate it, They also say not to demand an apology. I think the WAS can see it as form of pushing/controlling.
In DR she quotes a post from the forum
Keep up the good work
Me 42 W 27 Married: 6 years Together: 7 years Daughter: 3 years Wife away 2/16/2007 - 12/27/2007 (School in a different country) EA/PA began on Jan 07 (found out 12/29/07) Papers served on 2/6/2008
I wasn't going to post today, but more progress was made this morning. As I was leaving for work W walked up to me and reminded me to pick up my sandwiches for lunch then she planted a goodbye kiss on my lips. Wow my first in six months This was a big change, lately she's been giving me a hug but deliberately moving her head to the side so we didn't kiss. This morning her actions were so natural that I don't think she realised what she had just done.
Anyway steady progress and I'll hold off from my urge to start some R talks cos that would probably mess things up.
If I were Transformer I would say Hooray!! (or something like that). I am only Kalni so I'll say I am so very happy things are going the way you want them to.
