I am pretty stoked over it. One of the guys who really helped along for the first few weeks got his year today after working on it for 4 years. So it was a good celebration among friends and a group of us are going out tomorrow night for some dancing and fun. It's good to know that I have a new network of friends that I don't have to worry about impressing or drinking around.
I meet a great girl tonight. Hopefully I get to know her better. Just nice to talk to a female and realize there are some great women out there and if things don't work with W, I'll be just fine. Hard to go from being that college age boy to single as a career man and think I'm back out to dating again.
I've been thinking about the whole dating thing lately and I think I'm getting to that stage. I'm real tired of not going out having fun. I couldn't do anything physical at this point, but some female company is well deserved and craved.
Originally Posted By: Gone Dancin'
Quote:
Leaves me in a limbo of how to act towards her.
[quote=Gone Dancin'] I believe the key -- and you know this -- is to be the rock, and therefore consistent in how you communicate with her. Always don your duck's back and remain true to yourself. Always remember to keep your changes going so they become cemented within, and always let your demeanor exude confidence and contentment.
Well this is 3rd time this week I have heard this. So hopefully it sinks in. Here is the sitch, I have a good friend that I work out with who is a doc and we spend a lot of time together since we live pretty close and he is going through the same R type issues with his gf.
I told him about W's diagnosis of the bipolar. She still hasn't made it to the psychiatrist yet, says she has to file out some financial declaration for the sliding fee. But we talked about her behaviors and he thinks she is a classic type II and probably rapid cycling. Yesterday she couldn't wait to go to the meeting, then about half way through the day she quit talking to me. The plan was that she would come to the meeting, and after we would pick our S up at my parents since they would be watching him. She was supposed to call me today for directions.
Well you can guess what happened. She never called and I didn't reach out, left it to her. Went to the meeting, and it went great. After the meeting I turn my phone on and sure as can be, since W got off just before the meeting, she called about half way through. She was at the house all ticked off that I wasn't there with S. Acting like she had forgotten or maybe she did. Then I had a VM and she said she found him at my parents and that was all.
I called her and she was acting ticked off, so I just kept my cool and said oh you must have forgot tonight was the meeting, glad you picked up S, well see ya later, and hung up. Haven't heard anything since.
But my plan after hearing from my sponsor, the doc and everyone here is that I'm going to have to be the rock. I'm going to be nice and considerate, but that is all. I'm going to give her her space and leave it up to her to move in my direction. Doc thinks that once she starts taking meds, if she does, there will be a huge shift in behavior and he said she will probably come out of this and have some major guilt and wake up. So I'll just do what I can to be there, but its her choice to commit. I love her, and always have, but I can't deal with it constantly, so I won't. She needs to accept some responsibility here, and start making some steps in cleaning up her head.
Originally Posted By: Gone Dancin'
Don't let her determine your emotions and behaviors -- YOU do that yourself.
I love it! That is exactly it. I've been doing some reading up on this idea and it helps to realize that my happiness is within me and I'm finding everyday within me. I'm becoming stronger as I take greater pride in my life, working on my home, my financial sitch, especially my work and the work product I'm producing. Do I desire to share my time with a women? You betcha! Do I have to? Nope, I'm good alone, with the guys, at work or whatever I'm doing. I just have to realize her negative behaviors are not her normal reaction and let her work through it. I was pissed earlier today about her not contacting me, my sponsor asked what changed and what I did, and said nothing, and he said exactly, it isn't your problem. She is dealing with her own issue, if she blames you that is misdirected, but not your issue. So let it be, don't fight it and let her be alone on it until she comes back out of her funk.
Originally Posted By: Gone Dancin'
Keep placing one foot in front of the other, my friend. I hope you're very proud of yourself and your accomplishments!
GD
The only way you get anything done is one foot at a time in front of the other. Walk tall, watch my step and keep a smile on my face because each day is great. Postive thinking for me is important, so I just have to keep that going.
