Priorities and tests of strength

[Brian_M]

I have not been on in a while because I have been dealing with health issues for over a month now. In short, I have been going through extreme chest pain and all the resulting medical process to diagnose the problem . Keeping this on topic with SSM, my question is:

Is a life or death health struggle a gold standard measure for the strength of a marriage?

To summarize, I fell ill with extreme chest pain and fever right after X-mas. At first, my W was my biggest champion and really stood out as a devoted member of the team. For example, she was by my side during every ER visit and hospital stay, and stayed up nights to comfort me while I was suffering in pain. Via process of elimination, my teams of doctors ruled out cardiac distress and concluded that I have a viral infection of the chest wall with the added bonus of heavy inflammation. After a few weeks of meds and rest, I started to improve. In fact, I went back to work and resumed partial activities.

As if one trial were not enough, my mother-in-law because ill and needed bypass surgery. It is a complicated situation to explain, but of the three siblings, my W was the only child to answer the call and offer to fly out of state to go to her mother's aid. MIL made it through the surgery fine and was released home on schedule. My W has been there with her M since.

Then, the twist: I took an unexpected turn for the worse. During an afternoon work meeting, I buckled over in excruciating pain. I left work, drove home, and made an appointment with my doctor for the very next day. To cut to it, I drove myself to my doctor's office, he shot me with some meds, and called an ambulance to have me transported to the ER immediately. I will spare the details other than to say that I was in pretty bad shape. Still doped on two drips of a morphine equivalent, I text messaged both my wife and mother, each of them thousands of miles away from me, and let them know what was going on. My mother boarded the very next flight and was by my side the next morning. My wife on the other hand, called several times to tell me she would be thinking of me and wished me well.

So, here is the crux of my dilemma. Yes, my MIL was recovering from a serious procedure. Though, during that time, I was hospitalized twice, underwent surgery, suffered a great deal, and spent many very turbulent touch-and-go evenings with no one but my mother lying on couch next to me. No, I never asked my wife to find another sibling to fill in for caring for their mother so that my wife could come home to me. However, I did not think it should be my place to ask. Now, I find myself very bitter and angry with my W. Though, I am not sure if I really have a right to feel this way.

Stepping back to 3rd person, my W was selflessly taking care of her sick mother and my mother and friends were taking care of me. All critical needs were being taken care of. None the less, I find myself very hurt that I could have taken my final breaths without my wife holding my hand. I am afraid this fact might be a trust issue to really challenge the strength of our M from here out. Can any one offer perspective or feedback?