My situation is not quite the same, but I know how you feel. My marriage is in its 5th year. Things started south sometime last year and then crashed and burned fast when I found evidence of internet emails indicating something was going on between my wife and some guy halfway around the world. I let it lay for about 12 hours before I lost my emotions. I did not fully admit to what I found when looking for answers to the questions about what was causing us to drift so far so fast. It happened in the middle of the night, I was not loud but knew I was going to be heard. She listened to all the horrible words I said and stayed quiet in our bed. Later that day she admitted hearing it all. By that time I was truly ashamed of words I thought would never leave my mouth to be heeard. That occured on Oct 29th, a week after I returned from a business trip, she told me we are officially separated. Like you I thought I was a good husband and father to her 2 children, wanted nothing more than to spend time with her and the kids. We cannot afford to move out apart, so she is living upstairs in our bonus room with the kids and I downstairs. Its killing me inside, cause everytime I have tried to get to talk about things, she pulls further away.
I am still truly scared of loosing her, but know there is still hope, however slim it might be. She is the love of my life and this is the hardest trial/truibulation I have ever been through.
Since Dec, I have read half a dozen books, all of them good including divorce rememdy, cause my wife has questioned if I wanted a Divorce at me 2. In either case, the divorce remedy like some advice I was given by a friend who went through the very same thing last year was to back off, hard to do in my living situation. I continue to try and focus on myself and being a father to the children she brought into my life with her. I let her focus on her and continue to hope that my changes will eventually pay off.
