Well, today I didn't feel that overwhelming anxiety and fear of losing W and not being able to fix my life. I felt hurt and sadness though, and she's been a bit difficult to deal with while I've been trying to be nicer when I do talk to her, but I am avoiding contact or conversations.
It's hard sometimes. As FaithIsBelieving said to me on the phone tonight "She has decisions to make right now, and they are not your problem any more".
Still, I don't WANT to be divorced. But I was talking to another divorced friend from the board and he told me how he has a new lady he is with and when he came home the other night really stressed out, she was tuned in to his feelings and SHE made him a hot bath without him asking, and helped him to relax and decompress.
Now, my W would sometimes offer to rub my shoulders or something nice like that, but I can't say I have felt 'pampered' or 'loved' in the way he described for many years now.
I guess I'm hoping that in a year or so I'll be as fortunate as he is and be with someone who really takes 'taking care of me' seriously. I can dream.
