Very good analysis, H. All except the part about there are no classes for how to improve your marriage after an affair. That is exactly what Retrouvaille is. The kiss sounds wonderful. And as you say she welcomed it. I think you can keep moving things forward. She is obviously waiting for you to make the moves. She won't do it. The ball is in your court. Go Marvin Gaye!
I know I kept emailing you I thought it was time to give kisses a try (forget if I posted it here). I am SOOO glad it has gone well so far!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Oh and on the "how to prepare before the A" thing... I think if the M is strong enough the A probably doesn't happen! So those ones about how to build a strong and happy marriage should cover that topic.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Ok today I skipped a Db technique and called W at lunch just to see how she was doing... Then I told her something funny that happened at work and she laughed and said “Oh that’s too funny”.... ok in the not so far past W was “short” talking to me on the phone. When her friends called she would / could go on forever talking to them with great enthusiasm in her voice. But with me it was mono tone and short answers... not today..... Made me feel good... She said she did not have to take her mom anywhere today so she can spend time working on getting a job.... So I told her ok I better let ya go then and we said our good bys, I was thinking when I get home I was going to go to her computer room and give her a hug and ask how it was going. But when I got home she looked so intense on her work that I did not want to bother her. I said hi and asked how it was going she said “it going”... I told her ok I’ll let ya get back to work and went out into my shop.... I came in a little later and asked W if she needed anything she said no and then left to pick up son and take him to the library..... Before she left she said it so cold today so after she left I lit the fireplace.... I left a note on ‘our board” for her to page me when she got home.... She did and we talked a little about her library trip... (I was out in my shop and she was in the house)..... Sooo While I was out in the shop I started getting these Phantom Pain’s in my leg.... What happens is the nerves are still there that went to my severed leg... they don’t know my leg is missing, and once in a while I get these severe pains that feel like some poked you with a hot iron... they only last a minute but they happen often (every 10 to 15 mins.. I don’t get these pains all the time.... just once in a while....they were really bad tonight... So then W calls me in for dinner.... when I came in she had fixed her plate and went into the living room to eat... soooo I fixed my plate and went into the living room and asked if I could eat with her. She said go ahead.... THEN..... While eating we are watching one of her soap operas and the seen is this husband and wife..... The wife had an affair and she was upset because she felt the husband was not giving her a chance. And she was upset because she said he did not understand what lead up to her having an affair... (Ok real awkward moment). But I just kept on eating trying not to moan to loud because of my leg pains.... I was holding off taking my meds because I did not want to feel weak, I kind of some how feel less of a man sometimes, I know it is not true but my subconscious feels that maybe she did this sometimes because I am somehow not complete without my leg like I am less that the OM because he has two legs.... I KNOW THIS IS NOT TRUE but I can’t help but feel that way sometimes..... So I finished dinner and told her it was good (It really was) she make these tuna rolls and deep fried shrimp. W keeps telling me to take my pills and I will before I go to bed... So no hugs or kisses tonight but that is ok, I don’t want to come on too strong to soon.... I still may try a good night kiss... we will see.
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Come on, don't let us down, do it! Be a caveman! 
