DR Chapter 3 - Know What You Want

[sparkie]

Am I becoming too predictable?!

In a word JJ.....Yes But that's ok here, we have enough unpredictability in our sitch's to keep us on our toes.

I'm going to take your questions one at a time to save my widdle brain from burn out. (it also makes for shorter post.)

What does a "trusting love" mean to you?

A "trusting love" is a presence of love I create within myself that allows my W to feel safe and comfortable with me. I show her through my words and actions that my love is pure and honest without her having to meet any conditions for receiving my love.

What would that involve in your mind?

I will validate my W's feelings while treating them with the same respect as if they were my own. I will love my W for who she is without finding fault in her. I will love my W without any condition that she must meet any standards set in my mind.

What do you think it means for her?

My W will feel it within herself that I am not going to make judgement on her feelings, actions, or any other part of her being. My W will not feel the need to hide her true self from me in order to protect her own identity. My W will feel free to just be herself around me, without fear that I may disapprove of her. My W will not feel she is being controlled by my thoughts or my perceptions of her.

When you had a trusting love for each other in the past, what was it like?

My W and I were able to discuss matters openly and honestly without fear of hurting each others feelings. We could compromise on any situation and we'd both walk away satisfied with the outcome. We understood each others points of view without defending our own. We weren't afraid to say NO to each other without fear of hurting or disappointing each other. We were able to be ourselves without worry. We were able to finish each others sentences with accuracy. We were working on the same page with each other, as a team effort. We were growing together towards a better us.