I think it's only natural to ask yourself those questions. We, the LBS, put up with so much hurt, so much hostile, hateful talk from our WAS -- and then once we decide we can no longer take any more, when we finally try to move forward without our insane loved ones, ironically, do they sometimes see the light. Just as we've given up hope and started moving away from the "line of reconciliation" do they start moving towards it.
And the problem is that the hurt is still there, and we're not so trusting anymore. And now they are the ones pursuing or begging or pleading or trying to rebuild the bridges.
Is it too late? Only you can tell. I will say this: remember what it feels like to be the one who is put in that place, of struggling to find your way back and to appeal to the spouse. Be the bigger person, and don't return unkind feelings, even if you have suffered them. I'm not suggesting you take them back, or not take them back. I suggest you take it slow and calmly. The onus to make a new R and make it work is now on them. Help them where you can, but without enabling them. Be cautious; trust but verify. I really think if they prove sincere they will accept MC as a solution, at least eventually.
The thing is, whatever you do, don't "flip the switch"; think long and hard but don't harden your heart. You are better than that, because you are the one who fought for your marriage at first.
