I came to enjoy the lack of stress and the freedom and relaxation.

I came to enjoy the neatness and organization that i crave.

I have to supress my excitement, frustrations, and even when I'm upset or stressed. H sees it as either unnessesary or too loud. He even tells me continually to lower my voice like I'm 5 years old. Yet he speaks in such a low monotone voice I can barely hear him when he speaks (other people too). He did the announcing at the gym meet we just had and a coach from another gym told me it sounded like H was announcing at a funeral.

yup- that's pretty much why I'm unhappy. the carefree relaxed person is being chipped away at daily.

I haven't told H about the KLA tapes yet- i don't trust him enough to tell him about them and have him possibly end up here. Plus he tends to put down things that I do. I know I'm jumping the gun and guessing his actions- but after 15 years and even now after the sep. and his "changes"-- he is still the same - doing the same things.

I just feel beat down.

When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007

7/1/05 Bomb
7/20/05 H moves out
2.5 years of Rollercoaster
10/30/07 H moves back home